Freedom

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No border, bold enough.
No wall, tall enough.
Skies, not far enough.
World, not vast enough.

I don’t stop. I don’t wait.
I don’t care what bus leaves at eight.
I make my rules. I mould my fate.
My own words on my own slate.

I don’t know where my cell phone is.
I don’t mind what calls I miss.
Write your rules. But still beware.
I do care, but a lot more for my hair.

I am that bird. I don’t sit and think.
I spread my wings. I’m gone while you blink.
Free.
Like wind over an open sea.

 

Happy Independence Day Y’all.

The Disease Called Laziness

Anniversary. That's one more year for my blog and I have written one post here in the last one year. A post about how pathetic my life keeps getting every passing day. Well, and it's still not any better. I'm not writing here not because I'm too busy with other things. It's because I'm lazy. It encloses me from every side I turn.

It's cunning. Because It doesn't just tell me right away not to do something that I should. It distracts. When I think I want to workout. It tells first go see some good exercise on the internet. So I go search for some home workout. The site I go to will probably have nutrition information too because it's a health site. It makes my mind wander into the nutrition section, until it starts a craving on my tongue. Then.... Then as I am sitting down in front of the TV with that bag of potato chips, I think I should have picked that dumbbell up instead of going to the internet.

It makes me stay awake at night rather than in the early morning. It makes me watch movies with a book in my hand. It keeps changing my aspirations so I don't get fixed at something and succeed in it. It keeps creating reasons not to do something. It makes me procrastinate. You can send that email after browsing these sites. You can do that workout in the evening. You can study that book in the weekend. You can call that friend later. You can clean that room in the next life. You can visit your relative another time. You can practice tomorrow. The thing is, tomorrow never comes.

I want freedom from this. I want to be a big bird that doesn't think. It just spreads its wings wide and zips away. Hope tomorrow will be independence day.

Why I Won’t(/Don’t) Blog

Coz I bloody hate myself right now. I was totally in love with that I-don’t-care fellow in blindin’ red tees and dark blue jeans. I loved showing him off to the world. One moment he wanted to be a musician. But the next, he wanted to be a scientist. Then he wanted to be a writer. Then he wanted to be an MBA grad with heckloads of money. And the thing is, he tried all that. And more. But most of the time, he was just dreaming about being everything that he was not. Drunk. Smoked. Played video games and rare weekend cricket matches. Girl-watched. One moment he was word-punching women right and left. The next he was this painfully-lame, horrible-poem-writing, love-struck, innocent-sounding lover boy who went after pretty much anything he thought belonged to the other sex. Never left his motorcycle alone. Sat at the mechanic’s all day to make sure his bike was serviced right. Took baths like once in a week. He drunk more coca cola than everyone else in the world did together. Knew almost every fast food out there. Maintained multiple accounts in tea shops. Spent money like there was no tomorrow. Went to random movies. Wrote stupid blogs now and then. Laughed at the working class. Made his own rules. Lived them too.

But I don’t know where he went. Leaving behind this bloody fat pl/sql programmer, who lives coffee to coffee, goes back to office before even he knew he came back home. This guy doesn’t have the time to spend his money. This guy has no real friends in fact. This guy has no life. God is the database.

I want an exit. But the system won’t let me out.

I don’t want the world to know about this guy.

Anniversathree

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It's three years since my blog came about to be. On 14th of August, 2005. Can't believe I've stuck with it for so long. I thought I was going to dump it the very next day I started it. It brought out quiet a few strange things out of me ( Poems!? ).  Taught me a lot. Spawned many introspective sessions. Introduced me a lot of nice people. But most of all, when I look back at the archives, it shows not only how 'much' I've changed, but also 'how' I changed. It's kinda a 'mini' life inside of life.

Cool.

I like it.

.

.

And thanks to all the 'almost-non-existent' commentinators.

P.S. : To new bloggers: Think you'll see it until this day? Noobies? Ha! :p

Material Excess

 
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The last thing I knew was that I was trying to sleep yesterday with such a bloated stomach that I was scared that my stomach and liver would switch places if I rolled over in sleep. Suddenly, I was in the rented-out house upstairs my grandma's house in Vellore. For some reason I was running around the house trying to hide in all the various places - under the bed, inside the cupboard and all that. Someone in every room kept asking me what I was up to, but I had no time to answer. After getting frustrated about not being able to hide anywhere, I ran out of the back door into a balcony, only to see a little army closing in on the house from one side. My heart started pounding hard and I just jumped out of the balcony to the ground and started running. The army started to chase me. At one point I was totally exhausted and started to slow down. The army was so close to me now. My foot hit hard on a rock and that was all I could take. I fell down to ground breathing hard. And the dangerous group closed in around me totally and pointed their guns at me. When I looked up, standing there was none other than Che Guevara, the communist rebel himself. There was this sexy chick near him, perfect to the shape and wearing a military camouflage with the sleeves rolled up above the elbow, looking at me with seething eyes. As I looked at her, with heavy breaths, she started to speak in some strange accent, 'Dzis ees dhe boy, more dzanae few of our people can use dzi foood he so greedhily consoomes'. And I looked back at Guevara. He was staring at me, so angry almost chewing on the cigar in his mouth. I start to plead, "No, I won't eat so much from now. I'll eat less. Please". He raised a techno-looking pistol at me. There was a laser beam coming from above the little silencer fitted on it. As I looked down at the hovering red dot it made on my belly, he muttered loudly under his clenched teeth - "Die! Fat Pig!". I heard a loud crack as I woke up with a start.

I really concerned about my sub-conscious now. I've had some pretty strange nightmares. But this!

I knew he was a dangerous rebel and all but I never thought eating a lot is against communism. To be on the careful side, I looked up wikipedia to see where he is currently living. Felt kinda foolish albeit relieved to see that he hasn't been breathing for like, 41 years now. Happaada.

"Eppadiyellaam peedhiya kelapparaanga."

.

.

Now, where was that pack of potato chips?

The Big O

 
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Did you know that you could go back and forward in your browser by just dragging your mouse, like you would flip pages in a book? Did you know that you could just double click on a word you see and select 'Dictionary' from the popup menu that appears, to look up it's meaning? Or better, translate it to some other languages? Did you know that your browser could display a neat thumbnail menu of nine of your favorite web pages so you can just open your browser and start clicking away? Did you know that your browser could have an integrated download manager? A bit torrent client? An email client too? All this and more without the need to install a single additional plug-in if you have Opera the browser. The cool piece of software is free for download and available for almost every operating system out there. I think it's better than Internet Explorer and Firefox. I'd recommend it for anyone I love.

More links -

• Mouse gestures in Opera
• Cool Opera tips by Tamil
• Customizing your Opera

Have fun :)

The Opposite Of Home Sick

 
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Alright Ubuntu was good. But I'm back with good old Windows XP (SP3 now). Neither Linux, nor a Mac, not even the mighty Windows Vista was able to break me away from my sweetheart. That's Windows XP to me. But let me come back to what I was going to post about. It's ironic that I'm blogging about this rather than doing the obvious. I'm 'Outside-Sick'.

I just realized it's days since I saw sunlight. Being jobless is taking a huge toll on my timetables, mood, health and everything. I'm just glued to my computer unless I'm sleeping. I forgot my friends. I forgot my bike. The heck I totally forgot what I did when I was not at my computer. My head is aching. So are my fingers. Shoulders and everything. I feel like I'm a big beany bag or something.

The Idleness is growing on me. I just want to shut the PC and get out of my house. I hope people still remember me. God I have a beard! I don't even know why I'm sitting in front of the computer right now. Maybe it's just because I don't know what else to do. I can be on my treadmill instead. I can be faking a stomach ache. I can be crying about my dead grandmother. I can be at an ice cream stall. I can be fixing my bike's side stand. I can be at my computer class. I can be job hunting. I can go party with my friends. I can be at a movie theater. I can be at a fast food. I can be at the beach. I can be doing anything else, anywhere else. But just take me away from my computer. I think it's trying to kill me. Seriously, somebody help me.

But the thing is, It's 10.46 at night now. I can't do most things I normally could. So I should just shut this computer down and go sleep. I will do anything to get a tiny little glance at my dear Mr. Brighty Fireball right now.